People being insensitive

Losing a beloved pet is very hard. It wipes you out emotionally. While I realize that it may not be as hard as losing a person in your life—I think many people are insensitive to those who lose pets, but need some time to grieve. It seems reasonable that someone might need a day off work or some time to cry and heal—like any other death. Do you all agree?

Yes, that’s a great point.  I don’t think people realize how close we become to our pets- they really are family members!  And we love them as such; a lot of folks just say get another pet, but it’s not that easy. I mean, this family member is gone and it’s super hard to replace that because each pet has their own personality.  What do you think can be gone so that people can more deeply appreciate this loss?

I’ve never lost a pet that I was close to, so I can’t answer from personal experience. However, I can imagine how hard it could be to lose a beloved pet. I know for some friends of my family, they had a pet bird for many, many years, and he died of old age. They were devastated. I felt so bad for them. I did send them flowers too just like I would send a friend who lost a close family member.

That was very kind of you!  Most people would just assume, oh, it’s just a pet and move on, so I’m sure your friends really appreciated it. I think that it counts a lot when you haven’t been through something personally, but you can put yourself in that person’s shoes.  Your kind act really showed how empathetic you are, and with such a tough subject, that’s really important.

I think its easy to undervalue the role of a pet. Some people have a dog, for example, that is just there for protection and isn’t really bonded with. But others treat their dog like a child. I think the people who don’t have a strong bond with an animal can’t comprehend the loss and tend to play it down like it’s no big deal.

I agree with Debbie, it would be nice to have the option of a day off to pull yourself together if you felt you really needed it. Losing a pet may not quite equate with losing a person, at least for some people, but the emotions involved are undeniably strong.

OK, I admit to being a horrible person in this regard. I grew up on a farm and quite frankly my pets died with an alarming frequency—being run over, accidentally poisoned, etc. My brother and I were taught to act like it wasn’t really a big deal. We’d be sad for a day, then move on. So, it’s hard for me to really understand how people can be upset about a pet for weeks or months at a time. I don’t poke fun at them or try to be mean to them, obviously, but I just find it hard to understand.

I don’t think that makes you a horrible person, you just have a different perspective. We’re not farmers, but my son raises show cavies (Guinea pigs), and they are pretty fragile. When you deal with life and death on a regular basis, it’s not quite the shock you feel when you’ve lost a single pet that has truly been a member of the family.

My son has already lost five fish and a hermit crab without any tears, but since they weren’t cuddly, he didn’t have much of a bond with them. Still, it was a good learning process about the circle of life. Although he didn’t seem emotional when my mom’s dog recently died, he was very concerned about how everyone in our family was taking it.

Hello Debbie, I agree with you that some loving pets are important for us. I lost my dog 7months ago and its really hurting me. I loved him very much and now I miss him lot. I m crying all the time my friends give me console but I don’t forget him. Our beloved pet is like our family member. I m in deep grief with death of my dog. Please suggest me what can I do now?

The loss of a pet always takes a major toll on me. I’m not one of those people who runs out and finds a replacement pet right away. I need the time to grieve. I have found that it helps to do something in honor of my pet like making a contribution to a local pet adoption group. If you call them they will tell you what they really need. Sometimes it’s money; but, they are usually also looking for pet toys, towels, paper towels and office supplies.

Susan,
I agree with you about waiting to get another pet. I think too many people get another one right away to help them move on, but it might be more helpful for them to finish grieving the pet who just passed. Plus, in the case of a dog, it can really try your patience to get a new puppy. That’s a lot to juggle when you are still missing the pet that just passed.