Words to Comfort Someone Grieving

If you are looking for special words to comfort someone grieving, look no further than within your heart. Forget the clichés or any packaged sayings that may cheer up the bereaved individual. The only thing a grieving person needs at this time is compassion.

When you are in a situation where you need to comfort a grieving family member, friend or co-worker, it's best to act quickly. That individual is looking for someone's shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Don't put that person off until a later time. That can be construed as uncaring or unsympathetic. The same goes for sending a sympathy card. Send the note of condolence as soon as possible.

Make sure the words you say or write are genuine. For instance, if a co-worker has lost her baby to miscarriage or infant death, don't say, "Don't worry, you can have more children." While this may be true, that mother only wants the baby back who died. What you can say is a simple, "I'm sorry. What can I do for you?" or if you are ready to really listen, "Tell me about your baby." This tells your colleague that even though you don't know exactly what to say, you still care.

With a little thought, you can find exactly what you want to say to comfort a grieving friend or family member. Keep the following list of bereavement messages on file in case you are hard-pressed to find something to say to someone who lost a loved one:

• "I'm sorry."
• "I care about you."
• "He/she will be dearly missed."
• "He/she is in my thoughts and prayers."
• "My condolences."
• "Blessings."
• "I hope you find some peace today."
• "Be kind to yourself."

If you are writing a note to put inside of a bereavement card, do not elaborate on your life or other personal issues. There will be time later on to catch up. Do not include family pictures or other momentos of your family. Save those things for holiday or birthday cards. Besides a few short sentences, you can also include a prayer card, funeral money or a donation to a favorite charity.

While it's simple to find a few words to comfort someone grieving, it's even easier to say the wrong thing without even realizing it. Individuals who recently lost a loved one are going through a very emotional time and the littlest thing can set them off. Be extra-sensitive those who unexpectedly lost a:

• Child
• Spouse or significant other
• Sibling
• Parent

While everyone at one time or another will experience the death of an elderly relative such as a parent or grandparent, it is even harder when those deaths happen suddenly and unexpectedly. However, if you are still struggling with finding words to comfort someone grieving, heed a few of these reminders:

• Never use cliches: These are by far the worst thing you can say to a grieving person. Do not say:
  • "He/she is in a better place."
  • "You have an angel in Heaven."
  • "He/she is no longer suffering."
  • "You can find a new love, have another baby, etc."
  • "You don't have be sad; he/she is with God now."

• Keep it short: Your sympathy note should be kept short and simple. Don't elaborate of the bereaved person's grief, as he or she may not emotionally be ready to read a long letter.

It's not always easy comforting someone whose friend or family died, but it is important to acknowledge the loss as soon as possible. If you aren't able to send a sympathy card, a quick phone call is acceptable, as well as an e-mail. Do not send a text message. Remember, any form of condolence will mean the world the grieving individual.

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