Sample Grief Group Session

Dealing With Death

When a loved one dies, it can be devastating. The world changes for those in grief. While some may be grateful that their elderly loved one is no longer suffering, there are countless others who were not ready for a family member or friend's life to end. Perhaps the death was sudden or unexpected. If a child died, nothing can prepare those left behind for the anguish to be experienced.

A Variety of Grief Support Groups

Many can benefit from a bereavement support group. They are often held in churches or hospitals, and are provided as a service without cost to the participant. They may have a certain start and finish date, or be ongoing. Meeting times are usually posted, and each session can last from one to two hours and be held once a week, or just once a month. The group may be small with only four or five attendees, or have a gathering of more than 20 participants.

There are groups for those who have lost a loved one due to a wide range of causes. Some of these causes include:

• Cancer
• AIDS
• Long-term illness
• Automobile accident
• Stillbirth
• Pediatric cancer
• Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
• War-related death/Armed Forces
• Suicide
• Murder
• Alzheimer's

While a majority of groups are for adults, there are also groups for children, especially for those who have lost a parent or sibling.

Finding a Support Group

Check your local yellow pages, newspapers, and church and community boards to locate a bereavement group that is appropriate for you.

Some nationally known grief support groups are:

• Grief Share
• The Compassionate Friends
• Bereaved Parents USA
• AARP Grief and Loss
• Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Support

You can go to these Web sites and locate a chapter near you so that you can attend the sessions.

What to Expect at a Grief Group Session

At a session, there is a facilitator. Sometimes a speaker may be invited to share from his or her expertise. Others in the room are like you; they have lost a loved one. Some may want to talk, others will only cry. Usually participants are seated in a circle where they can see each other's faces. The atmosphere is nurturing and warm.

The Role of the Facilitator

A good facilitator, or leader, is empathetic. Perhaps she or he has lost a loved one. If not, he or she should have experience in dealing with the emotions of many who have had a loved one die. The facilitator will be warm, compassionate and caring. He will know how to mediate should there be problems that may develop with the participants. He will be in tune with the group dynamics.

The Role of the Participant

The participant has had a major loss and is needy. He or she should feel free to cry, to talk or not to talk. In time, the participant needs to know that he or she is not alone; others in the group are also experiencing deep sorrow and have needs as well.

Sample Grief Group: Session Topics

Here is a sample of a grief group session's topics:

• Handling the holidays
• What to do with the loved one's possessions
• Meaningful rituals
• Establishing memorials
• Handling co-workers and family members
• Dealing with depression
• Reinvesting in life

Ground Rules for Support Groups

In order to make a group function as it should, there are often rules that members should abide. Most include:

• Listen
• No arguing
• Confidentiality
• Respecting each other
• Taking turns to talk

Group Goals

The group as a whole also has goals. The purpose of the grief sessions are to provide:

• Self-awareness
• Healing
• New friends
• A sense of community
• Support of others
• A way to learn coping skills

Comfort is Important

In a group, you want to feel comfortable sharing, crying and talking. You want the support of others. If a group isn't helping you, leave it, and look for another. You may not always need a support group. Some attend for months or years while others find the need to only go a few times. It is up to the individual.

Further Help

If you feel the need for one-on-one counseling, you may want to seek the help of a professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. Don't hesitate to make an appointment. While grief group sessions meet the needs of many, an individual session might benefit you in addition to the larger group.