Physical Stages of Dying

When you are with a person who is about to die, it is good to know the physical stages of dying.

Dying is a shutting down of the body's physical, sensory and mental functions. This process can take minutes or months, depending on what is going on inside the person's body. A violent car crash can kill a person in minutes, and a bullet shot into a person's skull or heart can take an even shorter amount of time. Immediate and quick death causes many of the active stages of dying to happen all at one time.

Those who have suffered an illness that leads to death, have a much slower decline. When a person is slowly dying, the stages of death are easier to calculate.

At first, there is a withdrawal from activity, and then a restlessness. The person may let others know that he or she is dying. She might speak of seeing those who have already died. There may be talk of her own funeral plans and the hymns she would like sung at the service. She may want to tie up loose-ends such as bank accounts, and want to tell other family members about arrangements for what they need to have done with finances or the estate. During this time, health care professionals will note that the patient is unable to heal from wounds or infections. Decrease in consumption of food and liquid may also occur. Also noted might be that there is swelling in the patient's legs and arms.

This pre-active phase of dying usually lasts on average two weeks. Keep in mind though that each death may not have all of the characteristics listed above, but there will be some of them. Each situation is different, depending on the person.

As the stages continue, the following may occur in the active stage of dying. Not everyone experiences all of these symptoms, but many are common in the average death.

• Limbs will become weak
• Inability to hear clearly
• Vision becomes blurry
• No longer able to excrete body fluids
• The stomach will no longer digest food
• No memory of the names of relatives or friends
• Severe agitation and hallucinations
• No longer able to speak
• Abnormal breathing
• Inability to swallow fluids
• The limbs no longer move
• Systolic blood pressure is below 70
• Diastolic blood pressure is below 50
• The limbs turn bluish and are cold
• The body is rigid
• The tongue contracts
• Breathing stops

Those in the room with a dying person must take some precautions. Knowing that your loved one is going to die is never easy, even if he has been suffering and is ready to pass. While the process of death is natural, just as the process of birth, still being prepared is important. Hold the dying person's hand, if you can. Speak lovingly and softly. This will help the dying to remain calm and feel soothed. You will also be glad that you have had this time of providing comfort. Keep the patient as comfortable as possible. If the patient is at home with Hospice care, morphine may be administered to ease any pain. The same will be provided if the dying is at a hospital or health care facility. As you watch your loved one die, do not let yourself become angry or agitated. Take some deep breaths. Make sure that you also eat and drink to keep your strength at the level it needs to be.

The friends and family members who have lost a loved one also go through stages of grief as they deal daily with bereavement. There can be anger, denial, and sorrow. Be sure to get the support and care you need if you have just lost a loved one. You might find it helpful to be able to share with others in a group setting what you are experiencing.

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