How to Plan a Funeral

Key Points to Planning a Funeral

They say that funerals are for the living which, first of all, may seem like an odd statement. However, the truth is, even though a funeral honors the deceased, it is the living who will benefit from it. Those who are closest to the deceased will have to carry on without their loved one, and a funeral should bring them some hope and peace. If it reflects the life and love of the person who died, it will certainly be a meaningful ceremony.

As you think about preparing for a funeral, you may want to consider the following:

• Music
• Songs
• Eulogy
• Sermon
• Bible reading
• Poetry
• Memory board/photo album of deceased
• Flowers
• Guest book
• Printed programs

Keeping With the Wishes

Before dying, many elderly have stressed their wishes for their burials and funerals. They might have stated they would like a certain song sung or piece of music played. If you can keep in line with their wishes, this may help make the funeral more personal. For example, a person may say she would like the 23rd Psalm read at her funeral or Amazing Grace sung. Bear this in mind when planning the service.

In life, the deceased may have expressed a memorial she wanted established in her name. If not, family members may choose a charity or memorial where monetary gifts can be sent in her memory. Providing information about this in the obituary and program will be helpful.

Consult Others on How to Plan a Funeral

If you are voted as the one in the family to plan the service, know that you can ask for advice. However, remember that people are generally overwhelmed by a death and may not have the ability to think about the task of planning a funeral. So just ask them for brief suggestions or run ideas by them. Find those who are willing to help and let them guide you in your planning. Chances are folks will rally around to offer their services or at least give you advice on where to get programs printed or the best local florist to use.

Location

There are a number of places where funerals can be held. Some include:

• Church or temple
• Grave side
• Funeral home

If your loved one died out of town and you are not familiar with the vicinity, the Yellow Pages will be helpful to peruse.

Funerals can be Simple

A funeral or memorial service need not be long. In fact, a short service will be best for all involved. If you ask friends to take part in the eulogy, make sure that they follow a time limit. Sharing a short memory about the deceased is appropriate and fitting; spending an hour on the life and accomplishments of the deceased may make for weariness.

Keep in Mind

• Flowers do not need to be costly.
• Candles to light the setting or to create a warm or somber mood are something you might want to consider.
• Be sure to offer some compensation to those who sing, play music or preach at the service. Many will be willing to provide these services for free; others may ask for payment, especially if someone has to travel far to conduct the service. Even if you are on a budget, don't neglect the cost others accrue for the funeral.

Grieving

After the burial or cremation and funeral, the busy work is over. Now the family and friends are left to mourn the death as they go through their daily lives without the loved one. Reach out to all of those who were affected by the death, particularly, the immediate family. While learning how to plan a funeral is important, doing the grief work that brings healing is vital for all the survivors.