Holidays After the Death of a Loved One

The Five Stages of Grief

Everyone has to go through the five stages of grief before they can see the light at the other end of the tunnel. Rushing the grief process just doesn't work, and each person experiences the stages differently and at their own pace. For some it is quick, for others it can last several months. While we never truly get over the death of a loved one, we can learn to cope with our feelings.

The five stages of grief are as follows:

• Denial and Isolation- After the death of a loved one, people may withdraw from friends and family and refuse to do things they used to enjoy.
• Anger- The anger may be directed at the person who has passed away or at himself or herself for letting the death occur, whether or not they were at fault.
• Bargaining- A grieving person may bargain with God, hoping that if they will do something good, He will make the pain go away.
• Depression- Sadness and numbness over the grief sets in.
• Acceptance- When the sadness and depression begins to wear off, acceptance over the death of a loved one occurs.

Celebrating Holidays After the Death of a Loved One

Having fun during the holidays is normal, but after the death of a loved one it can feel wrong. It is normal for people grieving to feel this way. People sometimes feel as if they are betraying the person who has passed away by having a good time when they aren't there to enjoy it too.

Once a person has reached the acceptance stage of grief, they may feel like celebrating holidays again with friends and loved ones. If the death of a loved one is recent, it can be helpful to reminisce about the good times that were had while that person was alive. Some people also choose the holidays as a time to memorialize people that have passed away.

Memorials and Remembrances

Popular ways to remember the holidays after the death of a loved one is to purchase or make small remembrances and to have memorial services at church. Many companies make special ornaments to use during the winter holidays or during spring celebrations. Jewelry is also a popular way to remember a loved one. Lockets with pictures of those that have passed are nice remembrances as are the new gemstones that are becoming popular. These gemstones resemble amber and are made from the pressed remains that result from cremations. The process to make these stones is lengthy, but the results are beautiful.

Another popular way to remember a loved one is to have a memorial service at church. These services need to be pre-arranged with the church, but it is one way for a family, as well as an entire congregation, to remember the passing of a special person.

There is no doubt it is difficult to celebrate holidays when you've lost someone you're close to. At some point in the future, the pain will begin to subside and enjoying friends and family will become joyful again. Remembering the good times can help ease the pain, and sharing these memories with close friends and family will make it much easier than spending time alone.