Funeral Thank You Notes

The Need to Say Thank You

As with many things in life, when someone does something that is heartfelt, and displays thought, our human instinct is to offer thanks for that gesture. It is only polite to thank someone for a birthday card or present, or even for cooking a much-enjoyed meal.

The practice of sending funeral thank you notes after the death of a loved one is no different, and the meaning behind it is often even more powerful. People experience greater empathy and practical support following bereavement than at any other time of their life. Following the experience of so many heightened emotions, there is a strong urge to thank those who offered that pillar of support.

Sending Funeral Thank You Notes

Sending a thank you note after a funeral is a gesture that can mean so much, not only to the person sending the notes, but also to the recipient. The time immediately following a funeral is a time for calm, and reflection and not everyone feels organized enough to contemplate the organization of passing on thanks.

The act of sending funeral thank you notes can extend as far as the individual wishes to send their gratitude. Offer thanks to those who have sent sympathy and support cards, and to those who have donated practical help for the funeral and its arrangements. Some people even extend this gesture to sending notes of thanks to those who have merely offered words of sympathy and good wishes.

It is logical and only right to thank people for gifts, cards, charitable donations and practical acts of support, but for some it is as important to thank someone for the meaningful and much appreciated psychological support they offered. It is true that in times of sadness and distress, words can be far more comforting than material offerings.

Getting the Timing Right

Following bereavement, whatever the circumstances, it is expected that mourners will go through a secondary period of grieving that in many cases involves a person spending much needed time alone to remember the person they have lost.

Having gone through the upsetting motions of making complex funeral arrangements, often the last thing on a person's mind is to send out cards or notes of thanks to fellow mourners and well-wishers. The etiquette of sending thank you cards suggests that this should be left no longer than two weeks after the funeral, if left longer than this, the gesture tends not to have the same impact.

Choosing How to Convey Thanks

As the process of conveying thanks after a funeral is such a popular tradition, there are various options available as to the methods of passing on thanks.

Most common is the purchase of ready-made, store-bought thank you cards; these can be single cards or in multiples. The designs and messages vary and there is nearly always a card that the buyer feels is appropriate.

Becoming more popular is the practice of people making their own cards. Not only are you giving thanks, but also providing this message in the form of a bespoke, handcrafted card or note. This adds to the gravity of the message.

In this modern age, it is not unheard of for a person to send their message of thanks as an e-card. This method allows the individual sending the message of thanks, the option to send it to multiple recipients. For a person with a large family, social network, or peer group to whom they must convey thanks, this method is not only thoughtful, but practical too, in view of the numbers that are required.

Keep it Simple

The process of sending thank you cards is entirely individual. For some, they may wish to send one or two to those people who were closest at their time of need. For others, they wish to extend their gratitude to everybody who touched them, no matter how big or small the gesture.

Don’t create more stress for yourself. The action of sending the cards is, for many people, an uplifting action, therefore many people like to include everyone in that act. Most importantly remember that guests and those who were there to support you do not expect any kind of gratitude, especially in written form. If you do not think you can offer the thank you card or note within a reasonable period, then it is best not to do it at all. Nobody will judge you negatively for it; do what is right for you.

Personalizing Your Thanks

When sending a note of thanks, it can at times be difficult to express your feelings in a way that truly justifies them. In your note it is most important to mention specifically what you are actually thanking the individual for. If they sent you flowers, then mention that in the note and explain how the flowers made you feel and how they helped you cope during the difficult time.

To personalize your thanks adds a greater sentiment to the act, and adds to the recipients feeling that they have supported you through a difficult experience.

Suggested Websites to Find and Send E-cards

• Hallmark
• Blue Mountain
• Thank You E-cards
• American Greetings