Children's Books Dealing With Death and Grieving

What the Books Should Include

When looking for a kid's book about death and grief, the most important factor should be is the age level for which it is written. Don't assume that your child will understand what adults are feeling when someone dies. Children view death in a completely different manner and the information should be presented to them that way. Children's books about death should include:

• A basic storyline: Youngsters will understand death when they read about it relating to other children their own age. A story about a boy or girl who loses his parent, grandparent, sibling, etc. will make more sense to a child who has experienced the same type of loss. The perspectives will be the same.
• Illustrations: Once children are able to visualize other children expressing grief ove someone who has died, that can give them permission to feel the same way.
• Simple words: Children aren't going to understand medical terms or other words they can not pronounce or understand. Sentences should be simple and direct.
• Short pages or chapters: This will allow them to read the book quickly or read a chapter and put it down until a later time.
• Age appropriateness: There are grief books made for children of all ages; make sure the book you choose is for your child's age group.

A List of Children's Books Dealing With Death and Grieving

Your local library or bookstore should have a section of books dedicated to talking to your children about death. You can also purchase these books online:

• Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss by Michaelene Mundy is for children ages 9-12. The book offers a realistic look at death and is filled with positive, life-affirming ways for promoting healthy grieving.
• Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies by Janis Silverman is for children of all ages. This activity book helps children dealt with grief through art therapy. Sensitive topics are discussed.
• Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss by Pat Schweibert, Chuck DeKlyen and Taylor Bills is for children ages 4-8. It is a storybook that centers around a woman who recently lost someone she loved very much. The book recognizes that each person of a family grieves in his or her own way and reaffirms that this is OK to do.
• Angels in Pink: Holly's Story by Lurlene Mcdaniel youths older than 12. This novel is about a group of girls (The Pink Angels) deal with the tragedy of losing someone close to them through a random crime.
• Water Bugs & Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children by Doris Stickney for children ages 9-12. Without bringing theology into the picture, this book talks about what happens after someone dies using the analogy of a dragonfly leaving its "nest."
• What is Heaven Like? by Beverly Lewis is for children 4-8. After losing his grandfather, a little boy questions everyone about Heaven and finds that the answer lies with his grandmother, who is also missing her husband who died.

Children's Books Dealing With the Loss of a Pet

There are also many children's books available that help young ones understand the death of a pet:

• When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers for children ages 4-8. Through this book, the infamous Mr. Rogers helps children understand the loss of a family pet. It helps them explore their feelings of sadness and loneliness.
• The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst for children older than 4 years old. In helping to deal with the death of his cat, the boy in this book makes a list of the 10 things he liked about him.
• No Dogs Allowed! by Bill Wallace is for children 9-12. This book helps a young girls understand the death of a pet horse through learning to love a new pet dog.
• Remembering Ruby: For Families Living Beyond the Loss of a Pet by Melisa Wells for young teens. This book is about a young boy and his family after the illness and death of their pet dog, Ruby.

A Final Note

While books are great tools for helping children understand the death of a loved one or a pet, nothing replaces sitting down with them and explaining what happened. Children are full of questions, so be sure you are prepared ahead of time to try and answer those. Remember, they are only children and don't need to know every single fact surrounding the person's death. Usually, just the simple basic facts will satisfy their curiosity.